Change

After thinking for a day or so I still can't find any appropriate heading for my post. It's been almost two years since the last post...two years !! seriously...Don't know what was I doing in those somewhat 650 days. 

And the only thing which I could see was constant in those days was change. The biggest for me was

(Pic courtesy - http://www.commexus.ca)

 changing from a self-centered human being to a mother. Yes I know, it sounds straight from a retro Hindi movie..but can't help it. No other feeling in this world can beat it. I can never be so emotional or protective for anyone in this world. 

Coming back from the verge of postpartum depression, dark thoughts, and what not..I am renewing this blog as an escape...may be to maintain my sanity or to get connected with other human beings..will try to write more.                                                                                   

Trapped II

They say a marriage or successful relationship is all about balance and equality between two partners...well REALLY???? I doubt so.....or you can say I m not sure about it....or honestly..I have saved the f word (kindly bear with me) for the person who thought of even proposing the idea of a healthy cohesive existence of two people in a relationship....where both of them are equally happy..with no regrets...

Whenever I read or hear about such..so called "happy and content relationships"....I always try to look through or you can say try to make out... the category to which that individual belongs...and no I am not some relationship expert or counsellor here...but from my experience...I always feel there are two categories of people in these so called successful relationships..

The first one is the Alpha Male kindda category...who own or feel that they should own the best part

(courtesy - firstung.co.uk)

of the relationship..whether it's carrier, finance, family...or other important aspects...They are the ones who have no regrets  or qualms for the relationship...(and why they should)...or in other words they are in the driver's seat  and control everything...basically relationship revolves around them...

The second category is of the back seat passengers...the ones who are happy and content in their partner's successes and happiness...why...because they believe or made to believe....that it is the best way to have a harmonious and happy relationship...and in long term....it becomes their duty, their way of living...and moreover overcrowds their own individuality, intelligence, personality...and everything...And I feel they are the ones who do more show-off of happiness and contentment...may be to get rid  of the guilt and regret of being secondary  in a relationship.

Let me ask you a question here.....does it really appears to be about achieving a balance???..or it's just sacrificing and suppressing a person's emotions, happiness, and goals...to make a relationship work...or make it successfully work...Isn't it unfair and partial??...I know you'll never agree with me if you are an alpha...but that's ok...I have no issues with you...and I am really happy for you...because you are one very lucky person in a right place, right moment, and right situation kind of...so all the very best...

But I do want to suggest to the second kind of self content people out there...Be proud of yourself..because you are the reason of holding a relationship or a family together...you are the one who is doing a better and more crucial job of making a relationship work..don't look down on yourself...but remember to think about yourself in the pressures and chaos of maintaining and nurturing a successful relation...and don't feel guilty about it...it's absolutely ok to do so...and you deserve it...because your own success and happiness is equally important too...so that you would not be considered a piece of junk and feel lost in someone else's happiness and success...  

I also want to write to or...I can say request ..our elders...society..or so called these relationship experts...Please don't define or glamorise a marriage or a love relationship as an equal union...because it is not...and you know it...So please please tell us about the real stuff...like adjustments, compromises, sacrifices...so that we can be better prepared to deal with the situations in our lives...and not look out for the things which can never be there....(coming more)  

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Things you'll definitely know if you are married to an IT guy....

After seeing this crazy list-o-mania trending on social media nowadays, I too thought of coming up with my own. But creating a list was not an easy job and the realisation came to me after four days of personalised research on it.

Well, it was not if I had a mental or writing block...rather the topics appeared to be too controversial or sensitive for me...for e.g. "Things you'll definitely know if you have a snobby boss" (I know people... everyone wants to write about this one topic...but I have an appraisal cycle next month..so can't)..or "Things you'll definitely know if you have a nagging wife"....Noo!!..I can't write excerpts of my own biography...leave it...

Thus after thinking and rejecting almost ten themes, I zeroed upon the one which had the least risk and controversy creating capabilities...Because I knew I will be able to settle down the consequential domestic hullabaloo (really like this word) with a plate of pakoras or a bowl of kheer...if he reads it....   

So coming down to my list...I have kept it really sweet and simple...But before that let me write a very clear disclaimer for it - " This is not a work of fiction. It may be or would be resembling to lives of almost 99% of professionals working in Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune, Gurgaon and all metro cities..:-)"

• Code, Client, Bug, By Default are general terminologies of your daily conversations..:-) 
• Your every bill, insurance renewals, policy purchase, ITR filing etc. etc. are done on the last date or deadline...even being on PCs 24*7...but so what at least we did it...and avoided the late payment fee like the last three months...oh yeah we are improvising..:-)
• You have to have almost all important conversations twice because he's always busy on his Blackberry or Laptop..
• You are always late for your relative's, friend's or colleague's party because he memorised it after the major software release..which got postponed ....and the party was too (in his oopar ka mala)...Now I know this Ghajini's STML was not a fake funda...I can bet on it...:-)
• Friday night is the best time to strike a sensitive conversation because he's in best of his moods and spirits...and honestly you can ask for anything at that time...shhhhh :-)
• You both are sitting in your favourite restaurant indulging in one of the best conversation of your life (atleast...you thought so)..and suddenly some client issue or bug arrives as the wo in your much awaited date night... Gone within 60 seconds..:-)
• Your vacation plans take two-three attempts to materialise..thanks to some unexpected weekend change, issue or call :-)
• You only have one day i.e. Saturday to finish each and every work, task, chore associated with  home, finances, relatives, friends etc.etc..:-)
• Cost Benefit Analysis and Risk Management plays a pivotal role...even when you are buying kanda and aloo...Why??? ..because Rita Mulcahy said so...:-)
• And last but not the least..Sunday is the gloomiest day in your home.

These are some of the day to day experiences, I am having as his companion. I am sure if asked he'll have a longer list than mine...because I am into IT and nagging too..:-)

But I believe...that is what marriage is all about...finding happiness and joy in each others imperfections and blunders..again and again...isn't it??? :-)

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I am a feminist...am I??

courtesy - article.wn.com

With Ganeshotsav around the corner, practice sessions of traditional art form of "Dol Tasha" are on full swing in each and every mohalla of Pune nowadays. One such group practices very near to my house too. I really like watching and hearing them every day. But the aspect which amuses and fascinates me more this year is the number of girls practicing and performing in the group.

Daily I watch them in their salwar suits with a Dhol tightly hanging from their shoulder to waist, trying to perform in sync with male members of the group. I feel really proud of them as they are trying to make a mark in an art form which traditionally has more male performers. 

Generally, I didn't get much time to watch their whole practice session which usually continues till seven or eight in the evening. But yesterday being a holiday I saw them wind up their session. Afterwards, male members of the group carried the Dhols with them while the girls were sitting aside and chatting.

Surprisingly it appears that these girls want to learn a predominated male art form and perform like their male counterparts but when it comes to carrying the instrument they needed help. So wasn't it a selfish and unfair move? Were they really tired or were just taking an advantage of being a girl? Well, I cannot judge the level of exhaustion of girls or the volunteering gestures of boys just by observing and watching them.

But didn't we all do the same in our lives, time to time? Didn't we all curse each and every men walking past by and not helping us to start our scooty in rains? Whether its carrying the heaviest shopping bag or giving a place to sit in a local; helping and protecting are the basic fundamental duties of every male in our minds and our female world. From father, brother, boyfriend to husband all the male figures in our life are entitled for a set of obligations associated with us. Didn't we all try to exploit the masculinity of other sex as per our needs, situations or emotions?

courtesy - lunalunamag.com

We cannot become feminist as per our choice, needs, and situation. So is this pseudo-feminism? Well, that is a long debate with an unclear answer. But for now, we can give some credit and recognition to all the male figures in our lives, who silently cover up for us in our thick and thins.

Hats off to you guys!!    

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Trapped - I

“Bleeding ulcers run in my family, we give them to each other.” 

             Lois McMaster Bujold, Borders of Infinity

We are all born with a set of relationships i.e. grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles etc. etc..We don't have any say in choosing them or in IT terminology I can say they come "by default" to us..

These are the relationships or people who decide who or what you would be in life. I really believe that a person is very lucky if he or she has the best loving, supporting and caring relatives around him or her. Because they are the ones who play a major role in uplifting and motivating you. They are with you in all your ups and downs. They become your anchor when you are going through the most turbulent times of your life.. They are on your side irrespective of situations, emotions, feelings, egos etc etc...(an excerpt straight from Hum Sath Sath Hain saga)..  

    

But what if life chooses to screw you ...and you end up in a dysfunctional equation with any of them,

courtesy - www.modernmet.com

some of them, or every one of them in the family.

Well, welcome to the most painful, frustrating and never ending ordeal of your life and your existence. 

Why?.. because they know how to hurt you, where to hurt you, and when to hurt you. You are vulnerable and defenceless and they know it...to use it...

No matter how much you strategise, plan or prepare..the damage is always more fatal than the last one. You feel trapped and suffocated in an emotionless vacuum with no breakthrough..

A strenuous relationship with your father, mother or sibling leaves you emotionally impaired for life. And nothing in this world can heal or help the consequences and after effects of it.

You only learn to adjust, hide and escape from it!!

(To be continued in the next part)

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A Vampire's Black Diary

Black is me! As an immortal, it's the best how I can describe the

magnitude of this colour in my existence. It's peaceful, serene and

courtesy - www.blingcheese.com

pure...

Couple of nights back, I stumbled upon #whattheblack activity flashing on Blogadda. Yes, I visit Blogadda often too. It's the best way to assess and inspect the intellectual and logical mortal world. After all, we also need some creative juices flowing in our veins. 

Rumoured to be yet another conspiracy of lycans, I decided to investigate what actually #whattheblack was. Not having much to do in daytime, I wrote and submitted my first entry. And thanks to all the artistry running in my blood, I got shortlisted too.:-)

The next phase of #whattheblack activity was analysing the three clues and guessing the fourth and final one. All four of them were to be delivered at my home. I was so excited and desperate. Can you imagine getting black goodies from mortals that too at my door step...evil me.

Let me walk you through my four night #whattheblack experience. Come on..don't be scared..

Clue i 

I was really anxious on the first day and there it came my first clue. The package was all black and very interestingly done. I opened it cautiously and it was a Black Egg."No lycans can't think that innovatively", I told and smiled at myself. This can only be humans or mortals. And to my astonishment, it was filled with delicious looking and tasting chocolate too. Well that can be an amazing gift for Sheila (my new next door neighbour) and so I kept it safely in my cupboard. I diligently tried to guess the next clue and waited for it to come.

Clue ii 

The next clue was more bewildering than the first one. This time the daily newspaper turned black. As it normally comes in daylight and is white, I am not an avid reader of it. But a black one surely coaxed me to read some of the headlines in it. As expected, Black Egg was the front page news. But a black star, black cricket uniforms and then a black ball....It was all startling for me too (And trust me, there are not many things on this earth which can amaze me)..

So much of reading but still no inkling of #whattheblack was going on..

Clue iii 

And then arrived the curious case of  black coffee cup and tissue paper. Wait the black tissue paper was there on the newspaper..Oh No!!..missed it yesterday. But knowing my food habits, I must say these two products now being black would really help me in future.:-)

I must say this mystery took over my mind and thoughts. I didn't even go for my routine night out...What would it be? I was anxious and curious..

The Final Revelation

And finally the fourth and final product was here. Interestingly, the package had a similar shape to one of my favourite napping places. I opened it and there it was a black bristle toothbrush. 

It's a new invention of Colgate and is termed as Slim Soft Charcoal. It's bristles are charcoal infused and 17X slimmer...Wow!! I never saw it coming.

I used it straightaway..And let me tell you, it didn't let me down. Due to my eating habits, I have to retire my white toothbrush in two - three days and brushing for me is painful too...ouch (ya we do it too..afterall we live in a civilised world). But this time, I am really lucky to get this ground breaking piece of technique. It's very soft and black in color.. perfect for me and my coven..I guess mortals got really lucky this time and invented this amazing must have item..      

It's so useful and accurate. Give it a try. I am sure it will not disappoint you..   

Colgate Slim Soft Charcoal & Blogadda - You rock both mortal & immortal worlds!!!!             

This whole activity was really exciting and I had loads of fun too...oh no...I started sounding like mortals...

Time to sign off!!

This post is a part of #WhatTheBlack activity at BlogAdda.com

Vacationing, Planning & Scanning the Sky...

Since last couple of days, I have been looking for something or someplace to surprise my better half on our tenth anniversary. Can you imagine surviving ten years of fighting, nagging, forgiving, and all that Bollywood style emotional drama? But so what..atleast we were together in it and plan to celebrate the next tenth milestone in a more enthusiastic and fun way too...fingers crossed :-). We were very young when we got married..just straight out of college..began our carriers and life together. And I can say he has been my silent companion and supporter throughout the thick and thins...

We have one more buddy who has been a spectator of our companionship and togetherness throughout these ten years. We laughed, danced, got drunk, and even cried with it. Before you start guessing and imagining about the third entity in our relationship, let me tell you its our very own Goa.

(pic courtesy - www.skyscanner.net)

Goa is not a place or destination for us. It's our common best friend with whom we have always celebrated our friendship and union. And you know in a marriage there are very few things on which you can agree upon :-). It's our place of solace away from our monotonous and stressful professional lives where we relive our college and courtship days.

Though this is the vacation for which our bags are always packed but the planning associated with it is really frustrating and tiresome. The tedious and annoying task of going through dozens of websites for travel, hotel, sightseeing logistic etc. leaves us cranky and irritated. We always try to dodge the planning part on one another :-)...But this time for a change I got a chance to try SKYSCANNER for my vacation planning.

But before entering the planning zone let's quickly go through my vacation itinerary -

i)  Flights (both ways) Pune/Goa  

ii) 5D/4N Stay at Vivanta by Taj, Fort Aguada.

iii) Sightseeing on Anniversary Day.

iv) Airport transfers.

With a total budget of Rs 1 lac.  

So with this mind boggling list, I visited www.skyscanner.co.in and I must say I am really impressed and amazed. Flights, hotels, buses, and even car hires, it's all under one link and that is so awesome !! The Homepage is really user friendly with all the required tabs under one roof and informative articles like "visa friendly destinations" can certainly give you more option for your destination. The best feature which has become my personal favorite is "Recent Searches". Through this you can save your last five searches and that too without even logging in. It is really convenient and time saving.

While booking the flight I was bewildered by the informative and easy interface of Skyscanner. Sort by price, number of stop over, departure time, airline etc. ..you name it and they have it. But the most useful and practical feature which I really liked was booking a pickup and drop cab to/from airport alongside the flight. No extra effort of booking a cab from your home to airport and vice versa. Chose the flight and transfers too in one go...

Then I moved to the hotel booking section and here came one more convenient attribute of the website. It already had all my data from the flight booking tab i.e. Checkin/Checkout Dates, Number of Nights, and Number of Guest...Wow!! I straightaway started looking through options and to my surprise the prices and deals appeared to be comparatively low to other websites. You get about thirty to fourty options by clicking on one deal link...amazing isn't it..Grabbed a nice deal..booked the hotel...pheww..

As planned, I wanted to hire a car for sightseeing on our anniversary day and accessed the car rental tab. It too had three variant of cars i.e. economy, intermediate, and premium. Off course I chose the premium one for my anniversary..yay!!. and an economy car for airport transfers.. But fun apart, one more VERY useful feature that I encountered in car hire tab was the option to chose the "Driver's Age" of your cab. I know being a female, how much this can help you if you are travelling alone or are on an all girl's trip..Thank You Skyscanner!! 

And the sightseeing and transfers were done too..:-)

Apart from all the useful and functional feature of website it appeared that the price of all services were comparatively low than its other counterparts. There were no extra charges or any hidden fees with any of the deals. The reason for it is Skyscanner is "FREE" for users and takes charges from the agents resulting in lower prices for us. 

And here we are after three steps and less than thirty minutes later. Flight check, hotel check, sightseeing check, transfers check...all done and all in budget!!

We often go to Goa and it has become a cherished buddy and companion of us. We have lot of beautiful memories of it and plan to make more in the coming years. 

But this time I must say and thank Skyscanner: you improved my overall vacation and travel planning experience. Now onward it would not be an excruciating and horrendous process for me. My lot of time was saved and got a good deal too...:-)

Hats off to the team behind Skyscanner too who is doing a fabulous job of sorting and putting all the USEFUL travel data under one platform. I am really bowled over by the user friendly, vivid, and..in budget experience of Skyscanner.

I have also downloaded the Free App on my smartphone. Now I am good to go.

Skyscanner has become my travel buddy for life now...and yes...now I understood the meaning of your name ..surely you are scanning the sky to give me an amazing travel experience...

Bravo Team Skyscanner!!!!  

"P.S. - To have a similar experience like mine, just click on Skyscanner or any bold letter in the post" :-)

This post is a part of Skyscanner travel wizard activity at BlogAdda.com