Things you'll definitely know if you are married to an IT guy....

After seeing this crazy list-o-mania trending on social media nowadays, I too thought of coming up with my own. But creating a list was not an easy job and the realisation came to me after four days of personalised research on it.

Well, it was not if I had a mental or writing block...rather the topics appeared to be too controversial or sensitive for me...for e.g. "Things you'll definitely know if you have a snobby boss" (I know people... everyone wants to write about this one topic...but I have an appraisal cycle next month..so can't)..or "Things you'll definitely know if you have a nagging wife"....Noo!!..I can't write excerpts of my own biography...leave it...

Thus after thinking and rejecting almost ten themes, I zeroed upon the one which had the least risk and controversy creating capabilities...Because I knew I will be able to settle down the consequential domestic hullabaloo (really like this word) with a plate of pakoras or a bowl of kheer...if he reads it....   

So coming down to my list...I have kept it really sweet and simple...But before that let me write a very clear disclaimer for it - " This is not a work of fiction. It may be or would be resembling to lives of almost 99% of professionals working in Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune, Gurgaon and all metro cities..:-)"

• Code, Client, Bug, By Default are general terminologies of your daily conversations..:-) 
• Your every bill, insurance renewals, policy purchase, ITR filing etc. etc. are done on the last date or deadline...even being on PCs 24*7...but so what at least we did it...and avoided the late payment fee like the last three months...oh yeah we are improvising..:-)
• You have to have almost all important conversations twice because he's always busy on his Blackberry or Laptop..
• You are always late for your relative's, friend's or colleague's party because he memorised it after the major software release..which got postponed ....and the party was too (in his oopar ka mala)...Now I know this Ghajini's STML was not a fake funda...I can bet on it...:-)
• Friday night is the best time to strike a sensitive conversation because he's in best of his moods and spirits...and honestly you can ask for anything at that time...shhhhh :-)
• You both are sitting in your favourite restaurant indulging in one of the best conversation of your life (atleast...you thought so)..and suddenly some client issue or bug arrives as the wo in your much awaited date night... Gone within 60 seconds..:-)
• Your vacation plans take two-three attempts to materialise..thanks to some unexpected weekend change, issue or call :-)
• You only have one day i.e. Saturday to finish each and every work, task, chore associated with  home, finances, relatives, friends etc.etc..:-)
• Cost Benefit Analysis and Risk Management plays a pivotal role...even when you are buying kanda and aloo...Why??? ..because Rita Mulcahy said so...:-)
• And last but not the least..Sunday is the gloomiest day in your home.

These are some of the day to day experiences, I am having as his companion. I am sure if asked he'll have a longer list than mine...because I am into IT and nagging too..:-)

But I believe...that is what marriage is all about...finding happiness and joy in each others imperfections and blunders..again and again...isn't it??? :-)

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Trapped - I

“Bleeding ulcers run in my family, we give them to each other.” 

             Lois McMaster Bujold, Borders of Infinity

We are all born with a set of relationships i.e. grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles etc. etc..We don't have any say in choosing them or in IT terminology I can say they come "by default" to us..

These are the relationships or people who decide who or what you would be in life. I really believe that a person is very lucky if he or she has the best loving, supporting and caring relatives around him or her. Because they are the ones who play a major role in uplifting and motivating you. They are with you in all your ups and downs. They become your anchor when you are going through the most turbulent times of your life.. They are on your side irrespective of situations, emotions, feelings, egos etc etc...(an excerpt straight from Hum Sath Sath Hain saga)..  

    

But what if life chooses to screw you ...and you end up in a dysfunctional equation with any of them,

courtesy - www.modernmet.com

some of them, or every one of them in the family.

Well, welcome to the most painful, frustrating and never ending ordeal of your life and your existence. 

Why?.. because they know how to hurt you, where to hurt you, and when to hurt you. You are vulnerable and defenceless and they know it...to use it...

No matter how much you strategise, plan or prepare..the damage is always more fatal than the last one. You feel trapped and suffocated in an emotionless vacuum with no breakthrough..

A strenuous relationship with your father, mother or sibling leaves you emotionally impaired for life. And nothing in this world can heal or help the consequences and after effects of it.

You only learn to adjust, hide and escape from it!!

(To be continued in the next part)

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A love story...untold..

They met when she was just sixteen and he was twenty four. It was an arranged marriage extended to a span of three-four days. Though he was eight years elder to her, she felt they made an instant connection as they talked about their future. And still after fifty years or so they were at the same place loving, caring and trusting each other. This love story belongs to my grandparents or my nanaji and amma (as we all call them fondly). 

My maternal grandparents played a very crucial role in my upbringing. We use to spend almost all of our summer vacations with them at their place i.e. a remote picturesque village somewhere in Madhya Pradesh. And they used to shower all the love and care in this world on us. I have very distinct memories of asking nanaji to get me something in a very odd hour of the day or urging amma to make some dish in middle of a summer afternoon with no electricity around. And they both used to do it all without being upset on a single occasion.

As I grew up, I saw and understood the amount of love they had for each one of us in the family. And I realised that reason for them being so was their own happy and content relationship. No matter what the situation was, I never saw nanaji raising his voice on amma ever, contrary to his image of a strict school headmaster. No matter what everyone asked for, the food amma prepared was always according to the likes and dislikes of nanaji. To avoid any discomfort to nanaji, she rarely visited her mother's house and the visits always lasted for meager two-three days. Anybody who have been to my grandparents' house felt so much loved and cared for. Can you imagine...fifty years of marriage and not a single fight in front of the kids...no frustration, nagging or bad words for each other??   

pic courtesy - humansfree.com

Unfortunately, amma suddenly left him, us and this world sometime back..just after completing their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Not even thinking for once..What this man will do sans her? How would he survive without her after fifty years of their companionship? Who will tell him...where his clothes are or where his medicines are? I can't even describe in words the impact of her absence on my nanaji...He has not left their house for a single night after her. Sometimes I feel he's waiting for her to come back or dreaming about their good old days.

Throughout my life, I have always seen them as a couple..as my grandparents (a plural entity)...now what can I do to get them back?...I want to again complete this favourite love story of mine... tell me what do...Please!!

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