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this blog is dedicated to all the people out there..who are stuck in their clich├ęd everyday life...but are true ROCKSTARS in their alter egos...(Do you see a Mark Zuckerberg or a Beyonce..when you look at yourself in the mirror??)...I do ..:-) The unusual but identifying stories of a middleclass girl trying to survive in this moral and modern world....:-)

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Trapped II

They say a marriage or successful relationship is all about balance and equality between two partners...well REALLY???? I doubt so.....or you can say I m not sure about it....or honestly..I have saved the f word (kindly bear with me) for the person who thought of even proposing the idea of a healthy cohesive existence of two people in a relationship....where both of them are equally happy..with no regrets...

Whenever I read or hear about such..so called "happy and content relationships"....I always try to look through or you can say try to make out... the category to which that individual belongs...and no I am not some relationship expert or counsellor here...but from my experience...I always feel there are two categories of people in these so called successful relationships..

The first one is the Alpha Male kindda category...who own or feel that they should own the best part
(courtesy - firstung.co.uk)
of the relationship..whether it's carrier, finance, family...or other important aspects...They are the ones who have no regrets  or qualms for the relationship...(and why they should)...or in other words they are in the driver's seat  and control everything...basically relationship revolves around them...

The second category is of the back seat passengers...the ones who are happy and content in their partner's successes and happiness...why...because they believe or made to believe....that it is the best way to have a harmonious and happy relationship...and in long term....it becomes their duty, their way of living...and moreover overcrowds their own individuality, intelligence, personality...and everything...And I feel they are the ones who do more show-off of happiness and contentment...may be to get rid  of the guilt and regret of being secondary  in a relationship.

Let me ask you a question here.....does it really appears to be about achieving a balance???..or it's just sacrificing and suppressing a person's emotions, happiness, and goals...to make a relationship work...or make it successfully work...Isn't it unfair and partial??...I know you'll never agree with me if you are an alpha...but that's ok...I have no issues with you...and I am really happy for you...because you are one very lucky person in a right place, right moment, and right situation kind of...so all the very best...

But I do want to suggest to the second kind of self content people out there...Be proud of yourself..because you are the reason of holding a relationship or a family together...you are the one who is doing a better and more crucial job of making a relationship work..don't look down on yourself...but remember to think about yourself in the pressures and chaos of maintaining and nurturing a successful relation...and don't feel guilty about it...it's absolutely ok to do so...and you deserve it...because your own success and happiness is equally important too...so that you would not be considered a piece of junk and feel lost in someone else's happiness and success...  

I also want to write to or...I can say request ..our elders...society..or so called these relationship experts...Please don't define or glamorise a marriage or a love relationship as an equal union...because it is not...and you know it...So please please tell us about the real stuff...like adjustments, compromises, sacrifices...so that we can be better prepared to deal with the situations in our lives...and not look out for the things which can never be there....(coming more)  
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  1. So lovely dear! I'm partially agree with you. I'd like to mention here that love and relationship are two different things. Love couldn't accommodate two, so there is no question of alpha there. And in relationship, two are present, so they have to comprise with each other. There are alphas in successful relationship but not in all. :)

  2. Thanks Ravish....really liked your thoughts....I just wrote on behalf of one of my really good friends...see you around...

  3. A good post Akanksha. Well Though i agree with you on certain points, I do have a difference in opinion of few other. I agree that there are sometimes Alpha and submissive in a relationship but it need not be an Alpha male all the time. Well i have my reasons to say so.. and not being a MCP! Well written

    1. Thank you Rajneesh...and I know there can be Alpha Females too..thus I have used Alpha in the whole write-up...No gender bias...:-)

  4. Well, this is the most complicated thing to under the relationship and to keep it going smooth.